My transition from the Upper West Side of Manhattan back to my childhood home in South Portland, Maine, has been quite an adjustment. I am rooming with my mother for several reasons, mainly to get ready to put the house on the market to sell. I've spent the entire year, literally all of 2008, helping my mother clean out our family home after my father passed away last year. 46 years of clutter. Four dumpsters. Countless trash bags. More than 50 donations to the Goodwill. One massive donation of 80% of my furniture to Housing Works in New York (a thrift shop benefiting those living with AIDS.) Several postings on Craigslist to sell everything from bookcases to banjos to vases.
In New York, my rent was more than $2000 a month. If you have not lived in New York, I'm sure you can't begin to fathom why someone would want to dish out this kind of hard earned money every month to feed another's investment. I also recently left a job in September which was laden with micromanagement and very quickly became less than satisfying. Yes, I chose to leave a job just one week before the U.S. economy took a dramatic downturn. I did not wish to tolerate that situation any longer. I chose to embrace my dream and make it happen even in the midst of uncertainty.
Both my mother and I have the same goal: to live in Paris. So by combining my mother's life situation with mine, coupled by the fact that we have both been under a financial crunch-- moving in with my mother made good sense. I'm also working for myself now, and my career is portable. This also comes with some challenges as I am very much in the start-up phase.
Tension is in the air at times, because I have lived alone for the past 12 years since divorce. I don't have kids, as much as I would love to have at least one. (I do see myself in the future with a wonderful man and kids around me!) I love my mother, but we have different patterns of activity as she is retired and I am kicking off an entrepreneurial business. We bicker at times. We are set in our ways, and yet we get along very well.
We also have two cats in the picture. Her cat, a female, and mine, a male. They have also gone through stress getting used to each other. We've seen hissing, paws lashing out at one other and even fur flying. But now, they seem to be courting each other. Running around and playing. Napping while curled up next to each other. Recently, I caught them lounging around together on the same perch!
Originally, my mother was going to room with me in New York, but that would not have been a smart move. Can you imagine a mother, a daughter and two cats in a large one-bedroom apartment? No. Need I say more? Clearly, we need our own rooms! Even with the economic recession and rents dropping, moving from a one-bedroom apartment where I was well connected with the super into another rental situation would mean lots of fees upfront. In the apartment I had there, I paid $$$ for a pre-war sans doorman. Now is not the time to pay lots of fees when the goal is to move to Paris.
Once we move to Paris, the plan is to buy an apartment as a joint investment. Our goal keeps us motivated every day, and I am determined to keep my focus! I am appreciating the beauty of Maine right now. Every day. I am also coming full circle with my childhood years, reflecting on times that were faced with many ups and downs. And I am holding my vision of Paris close to my heart, knowing that all good things come to those who dream!
